MONTGOMERY COUNTY, Md. — In a cozy townhome located just half an hour outside Washington, D.C., Stephani Cherkaoui finds solace in the simple pleasures of life. A pot of fragrant Moroccan tea simmers on the kitchen stove, while her children's artwork, a cherished collection, decorates the walls. Her cat, Dublin, lounges comfortably on a kitchen chair. Over the past five months, Cherkaoui has had ample time to reflect on her decision to walk away from a long-standing government career.
Cherkaoui is among the more than 150,000 federal workers who accepted the Trump administration's Fork in the Road buyout offer, resigning with pay and benefits that extended through at least September 30. In an exclusive interview with NPR, she shared her thoughts, clarifying that her views are personal and do not represent the government. Cherkaoui’s last day at work was April 18, and since then, she has received her paychecks regularly, with her family retaining their government health insurance. For the first time in her life, she expresses a sense of liberation: “I’m able to just breathe. It’s a new feeling that I’ve never experienced before. But there’s definitely a lot of fear.”
Months of searching for a new job have yielded only a few interviews without any job offers. President Trump termed the government buyout a "very generous offer," but Cherkaoui sees it differently. “I do think it was a fair deal for me as an individual. For the American people? No, they got robbed,” she asserts. This buyout offer was extended to nearly the entire federal workforce, more than 2 million employees, just eight days after Trump’s inauguration. The deferred resignation program was modeled after a buyout deal crafted for Twitter employees by Elon Musk, who was then leading the Department of Government Efficiency.
Initially, employees had a mere week to decide on the buyout. Legal questions loomed over the deal, but by late March and April, several federal agencies revived the offer, leading to quicker acceptance rates. As paid administrative leave comes to an end, many former employees are grappling with a range of emotions, including regret and resentment. Many state they wouldn’t have left their positions if they had felt secure in their jobs.
Cherkaoui joined the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) in 2020, following a diverse career that included serving as a medic in the Maryland Air National Guard and teaching in public schools. As an instructional systems specialist, she managed training for approximately 9,000 employees within the USDA's Food Safety and Inspection Service, which plays a crucial role in ensuring the safety of the U.S. meat, poultry, and egg supply. “We send inspectors into all of the meatpacking plants across the country, doing a thankless job every single day,” she explains.
Despite her pride in her work, the unease began when Trump was re-elected. Cherkaoui worried about potential cuts to training programs, believing they could be among the first to go. Initially hesitant about the buyout offer in January, her feelings shifted when memos hinted at impending mass layoffs and relocations within the USDA. After receiving a second buyout offer in April, she ultimately decided to accept, describing it as “the hardest button click I’ve ever clicked in my life.”
In the Midwest, a data analyst for the Transportation Department faced a similar crossroads. He, too, was apprehensive about the first buyout offer. However, when the Trump administration's downsizing efforts resulted in the termination of his office lease, he felt pressured to act. “I started applying for jobs in the private sector, and by April, I received a couple of offers,” he recalls. Accepting the buyout, he later found that his agency’s office lease was restored and his old team remained intact. Reflecting on his decision, he now feels regret for leaving a fulfilling government job for one that lacks the same sense of purpose.
Interestingly, not all those accepting the buyout were nearing retirement. Marie, who had just begun her career at the Energy Department, found herself in a precarious position. After being fired as part of the administration's purge of probationary employees, she was temporarily reinstated by court order. Fearing she would be terminated again, she opted to resign during the buyout's second round, abandoning her dream of working in energy policy. Fortunately, she recently received three job offers and accepted a position at a local utility, though she is hesitant to return to the federal government.
Unfortunately, Cherkaoui has not experienced the same luck in her job search. The market in the Washington, D.C., area is flooded with former federal employees, and as reported by the Maryland Department of Labor, the state lost over 15,100 federal jobs between January and August. At 40, Cherkaoui has faced numerous rejections despite diligently applying for hundreds of positions. In response, she has launched a consulting business, The Sajai Company, and is pursuing a doctorate in human and organizational learning. Her aspiration to lead training across the USDA remains alive.
Cherkaoui is deeply concerned about her former colleagues still within the government. Since January, the administration has dismantled entire agencies and halted essential work mandated by Congress. Many employees tasked with holding the government accountable have been dismissed, while others face uncertain futures. Cherkaoui empathizes with those who may be hesitant to speak out during these challenging times, stating, “If I didn’t love and didn’t care, I would let you act like a damn fool.”
As Cherkaoui reflects on her previous position at the USDA, she notes that approximately half of her colleagues have left voluntarily, while the rest are scattered across various parts of the agency. Her thoughts frequently return to those who remain, enduring unprecedented challenges in their government roles.
