At 96 years old, Betty Parker has grown weary of hearing about others' aches and pains. Instead, she fills her journal with tales of her vibrant life, including picking roses from her garden, indulging in reading, playing cards with her regular group, and baking pies for guests. While she humorously admits that she might prefer to buy pies from the grocery store these days, Parker finds that her 90s are brimming with purpose and connection, elements that many people, regardless of age, often struggle to achieve.
According to Dr. Kerry Burnight, a California-based gerontologist and Parker's daughter, healthy behaviors such as nutritious eating and strength training are essential for longevity. However, she emphasizes that addressing loneliness and social isolation is equally crucial for enjoying those extra years. “Life expectancy has generally improved over the last generation, but it’s vital to ensure that individuals are living fulfilling years, rather than just living longer,” states Dr. John Batsis, a geriatrician at UNC’s School of Medicine.
Burnight identifies four critical factors for maximizing joy in your later years: growing, connecting, adapting, and giving. Fortunately, just as you can exercise daily to maintain physical health, you can also cultivate your internal strength to enhance connections and find purpose in life.
It’s never too early or too late to create a life you enjoy. If you haven’t retired yet, consider what your days will look like post-retirement. Batsis notes that the retirement cliff can be challenging for those who have spent a lifetime working. The sudden loss of purpose and daily structure can be overwhelming if not planned for. Instead of making abrupt changes, he advises gradually taking up hobbies and activities that you might enjoy in retirement while still working.
For those who are already retired, Burnight encourages exploring new passions. It’s never too late to pursue interests, such as writing a book or picking up a new hobby. “It’s the perfect time to lean into and redefine your life,” she asserts, referencing her upcoming book, “Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half.”
Engaging your brain is essential for cognitive sharpness, and challenging yourself with new experiences is vital for continued growth. “New experiences activate neuroplasticity, our brain's ability to keep developing,” Burnight explains. Batsis shares a success story of a patient who took up golf and learned to play the guitar post-retirement, revealing new joys and experiences that enriched his life.
Finding a hobby that keeps you physically active is also crucial, as inactivity can lead to physical decline. Batsis emphasizes the importance of choosing activities you genuinely enjoy, rather than those you feel obligated to do.
Once a month, Parker gathers with a group she affectionately calls “the youngs,” a set of women in their 60s whom she taught to play canasta. She values having a diverse group of friends, especially after losing close connections over the years. “Just as we diversify our financial portfolios, it’s important to have friends of different ages and backgrounds,” she states.
If you’re looking to reconnect with old friends, Burnight suggests leveraging social media to reach out to those you haven’t spoken to in years. Small interactions, like chatting with a neighbor or barista, can also lead to meaningful relationships.
While Parker enjoys her 90s, it hasn’t come without challenges. She has had to adapt to changes, such as giving up tennis and occasionally using a walker. Nevertheless, these adjustments do not stop her from laughing with family or participating in community events. “Aging brings challenges, but those who age well are the ones who adapt and embrace change,” Burnight advises.
Research indicates that your mindset about aging significantly affects your experience. “People who view aging as a time for growth tend to live 7.5 years longer than those who adopt a defeatist attitude,” says Burnight. She encourages focusing on what you can give to others, as acts of giving have been linked to greater joy, purpose, and longevity.
Feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of change? You can begin with small steps. Whether it’s delivering a lemon from your garden to a friend or volunteering to watch a neighbor's children, these acts can provide a sense of purpose. “Purpose is a daily decision,” Burnight concludes. “Ask yourself, ‘How will I use my life today to give back?’”
