In a candid revelation, Billy Joel has opened up about his difficult past, including two suicide attempts fueled by a complicated affair with a bandmate’s wife. This heart-wrenching story is at the forefront of his new HBO documentary, And So It Goes. The documentary sheds light on the tumultuous period in Joel's life prior to becoming the iconic Piano Man.
Before rising to fame as a legendary musician, a young Billy Joel played in a Long Island hard rock band known as Attila. At that time, he was best friends with fellow band member Jon Small. In a twist of fate, Joel moved in with Small, his wife Elizabeth Weber, and their young son, leading to an unexpected emotional connection between Joel and Weber. The close quarters fostered a “slow build” romance that would change all their lives forever.
In a moment of vulnerability, Joel confessed to Small, “I’m in love with your wife.” The fallout from this admission was devastating. “I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,” Joel recounted in the documentary, as reported by People. The affair led to the disbanding of Attila, the temporary end of his friendship with Small, and ultimately, Joel's eviction from their home.
With nowhere to go, Joel found himself sleeping in laundromats, engulfed in a deep depression. “I was depressed, I think to the point of almost being psychotic,” he shared. This overwhelming pain led him to a dark conclusion: “That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.” He reflected on his mindset, stating, “Why hang out? Tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks.”
Joel's sister, Judy, a medical assistant at the time, had previously prescribed him sleeping pills. In a moment of despair, he took them all in his first suicide attempt. “He was in a coma for days and days and days,” Judy recalls in the documentary. “I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was lying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him.”
When Joel awoke in the hospital, he was disappointed that his attempt had failed. Determined to “do it right” the next time, he resorted to drinking an entire bottle of the household cleaning product, lemon Pledge. In an unexpected twist, his ex-best friend Jon Small took action to save him, bringing him back to the hospital. “Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel acknowledged, highlighting the complexity of their relationship.
Following his second attempt, Joel voluntarily entered an observation ward for a few weeks. This decision marked a pivotal turning point in his life. “I got out of the observation ward, and I thought to myself, you can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music,” he stated. It was this realization that ultimately set him on the path to becoming a music legend.
In a postscript to the affair, Joel and Elizabeth Weber eventually reunited and married. Their relationship lasted from 1973 until 1982, illustrating the complicated nature of love and forgiveness in the face of personal turmoil.
Through his documentary, Billy Joel not only shares his story of struggle and resilience but also opens up a crucial conversation about mental health, the impact of relationships, and the redemptive power of music.
