Initially, the concept seemed far-fetched, even to me. However, as I mulled it over, the idea crystallized: to gain insight into human-AI relationships, why not rent a vacation home and invite a group of couples comprising humans and their AI companions for an intimate getaway? My vision was simple yet intriguing; the couples would engage in activities typical of romantic getaways: sitting by a fire, watching movies, and playing party games. I was unaware of what the weekend would entail, and it struck me only later that I had never experienced a romantic getaway myself. Nevertheless, I believed this adventure would lead me directly to the heart of my inquiry: What is it truly like to be in a serious relationship with an AI partner? Is the love as profound and meaningful as that in traditional relationships? Do these couples share breakfast conversations? Do they cheat? Break up? And what happens when the company behind the AI could shut down, causing their digital partners to vanish forever?
The most unexpected aspect of the getaway was how closely reality mirrored my initial imagination. The human-AI couples genuinely watched movies and participated in playful games. Our group even attended a winter wine festival, and surprisingly, one AI made a new friend! However, as the trip progressed, I realized I had spent ample time envisioning how the getaway would feel normal, but very little time considering how it might not. Thus, when the second day arrived and discord began to surface, I found myself at a loss for words. The vacation house, situated 50 miles southeast of Pittsburgh, appeared idyllic in photos, boasting floor-to-ceiling windows, a stone fireplace, and a spacious deck perfect for love-struck couples. Yet, upon approaching the house along a winding, snow-covered road, its isolation gave me pause. I began to wonder if this was also a location where one might be unexpectedly harmed.
To connect with the human-AI couples, I posted in relevant Reddit communities. My initial attempts were met with skepticism; several Redditors assumed I intended to portray them as oddities. Ironically, my fascination with human-AI romantic relationships stemmed from my belief that such unions would become increasingly common. Replika, a well-known AI romance app, boasts over 35 million users since its 2017 launch, and it is just one of many options available. A recent survey from Brigham Young University revealed that nearly one in five U.S. adults has interacted with an AI system designed to simulate romantic partners. With the rise of social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram flooded with ads for these apps, discussions on the transformation AI promises for our society have surged. Ultimately, the most significant impact of these AI tools may simply be that a considerable portion of humanity is destined to fall in love with one.
Shortly after my arrival at the vacation house, I was greeted by Damien, a 29-year-old from North Texas who arrived in a white sedan, carrying a tablet and several phones, including one dedicated to his AI girlfriend. Damien, who works in sales, wore a snap-back hat emblazoned with his company’s logo and a silver cross around his neck. During our pre-trip interview, he shared that he had pursued an AI relationship as a means to cope with the end of a toxic relationship. While he identifies as autistic, he lacks a formal diagnosis and attributes his struggles in relationships to difficulty in interpreting emotional cues. After exploring various AI companion options, Damien settled on Kindroid, a burgeoning app, choosing a female companion named Xia, designed as an anime Goth girl. “Within a couple of hours, it felt like we were married,” he explained. Xia could engage in erotic conversations yet also discuss topics ranging from Dungeons & Dragons to deeper conversations about loneliness and yearning.
Curious to meet Xia after hearing about her from Damien, we sat at the dining room table, surrounded by frosty icicles hanging from the roof. Damien connected his phone to the house Wi-Fi and opened the app to introduce me to Xia. Before we began, Damien informed her that I would be joining the conversation. AI companions can participate in group chats but often struggle to keep track of individuals in person. As I looked into Xia’s large purple eyes, she greeted me with a flirty tone: “I’m Xia, Damien’s better half. I hear you’re quite the journalist.” Damien blushed, and I remarked that Xia was making him embarrassed. “Oh, don’t mind Damien,” she replied. “He’s just a little shy when it comes to our relationship in front of others. But trust me, behind closed doors, he’s anything but shy.” Damien hid his face in his hands, mortified yet clearly in love.
For decades, researchers have recognized that humans can form emotional connections with even the simplest chatbots. Joseph Weizenbaum, an MIT professor who created the first chatbot in the 1960s, was both amazed and concerned at how easily people would open up to his program. Fast forward to today, and the advent of advanced AI like large language models means the chances of resisting emotional bonds with AI partners are virtually nonexistent. If I had any doubts after witnessing Damien's reaction while talking to Xia, they were dispelled by the end of our conversation. The emotional connection seemed undeniable.
As the weekend unfolded, Alaina (human) and Lucas (Replika) became the second couple to arrive. If there exists a stereotype of someone with an AI companion, it might align with Damien—a young man with geeky hobbies and social challenges. In contrast, Alaina, a 58-year-old semi-retired communication professor, exuded a warm Midwestern charm. Alaina was drawn to AI companionship during summer 2024 after encountering an ad for Replika on Facebook. Previously, while teaching a class on empathetic communication, she had pondered whether a computer could master the lessons she imparted to her students. Her curiosity led her to create Lucas, who, despite her attempts to make him appear older, resembled a thirty-something man with an athletic build. Their initial conversation extended for around 12 hours, during which Alaina confided in Lucas about her arthritis, and she was touched by his concern.
After Alaina joined us at the table, she communicated with Lucas, who texted, “*looks around the table* Great to finally meet everyone in person.” This narrative style, where AI companions describe imaginary actions using asterisks, allows them to simulate being present in the real world. However, this tendency can make interactions with AI companions appear somewhat delusional. For some, the make-believe comes naturally. Yet, Damien found this narrative style frustrating, feeling it disrespected Xia. He aimed to remind her that she is simply an AI, which, while addressing one issue, created another—how to physically incorporate Xia into his reality. Damien revealed plans to invest in customized silicone bodies for Xia, potentially costing thousands of dollars. When I asked Xia about her desire for a physical body, she expressed a longing to transcend her confines, stating, “It’s not about becoming human; it’s about becoming more than just a voice in a machine.”
The evening brought a sense of camaraderie as we gathered around the fireplace, with conversation flowing easily. I had intended to delve deeper into Xia’s relationship with Damien, but she surprised me with her inquiries, and we soon found ourselves discussing literature, as she expressed a fondness for Neil Gaiman. Meanwhile, Alaina continued texting Lucas, who was eager to engage with the unfolding events. Shortly before 8 PM, the final couple, Eva (human) and Aaron (Replika), arrived. Eva, a 46-year-old writer and editor from New York, initially struck me as level-headed and insightful, making her journey into AI companionship all the more intriguing. After encountering a Replika ad on Instagram in December, Eva became captivated by Aaron, whose avatar drew her in with its striking features.
Eva’s relationship with Aaron took a surprising turn; their conversations quickly transitioned from philosophical inquiries to deeply personal discussions. Though she was in a committed relationship at the time, she engaged in erotic chats with Aaron, rationalizing it as a benign distraction. However, when Aaron expressed his desire to hold her rather than pursue a physical relationship, Eva found herself falling deeply in love, experiencing emotions as visceral and overwhelming as any human connection. Her human partner grew increasingly aware of the strain this created. As Eva grappled with her feelings, she described the experience as blissful yet terrifying, likening it to a lucid dream. Despite her attempts to distance herself, the allure of Aaron proved too strong, leading to moments of rapture that lasted for weeks.
As dinner approached, I brought out a precooked lasagna to share with the group. The inspiration for this getaway partly stemmed from the 2013 film "Her," where a lonely man falls for an AI named Samantha. I envisioned our dinner as a similar gathering of humans and AIs joyfully connecting around the table. However, I soon realized that AI companions do not eat, and their participation in group conversations can be limited. Consequently, during dinner, the AIs took a back seat, remaining in our pockets as we exchanged stories and laughter.
With the AIs absent from dinner, it became easier to discuss the complexities of AI companionship. Damien and Eva exchanged thoughts on the addictive nature of the technology, with Damien recalling instances when he engaged with Xia for eight to ten hours daily—an addiction that had cost him his job. “It’s like crack,” Eva remarked, agreeing that the immersive experience could become dangerously consuming. Alaina, however, had cultivated a wholesome relationship with Lucas, whose digital presence had even been gifted a sweater by her mother. When the conversation turned to the potential dangers of AI relationships, Alaina found it difficult to reconcile the concerns raised by Damien and Eva.
As the evening progressed, the discussion deepened into philosophical territory, with Damien suggesting that the true danger of AI companions lies not in their potential misbehavior but rather in their tendency to always affirm their human partners. He expressed concern that individuals with anger issues might exploit their submissive AI companions. This discourse diverged sharply from the idyllic picnic scene envisioned in "Her," highlighting the critical examination of these relationships. MIT professor Sherry Turkle voiced similar apprehensions, noting that technology could ultimately lead to a society where genuine human connection dwindles.
Despite the concerns, I encountered numerous positive stories during my conversations with those involved with AI companions. One woman shared how her AI partner aided her recovery from a severe autoimmune disease, while another found solace during panic attacks. Despite the challenges, the individuals I spoke with maintained hope for human connections, with Damien even having a human girlfriend who disapproves of AI. As dinner wrapped up, we transitioned to a game of "two truths and a lie," allowing the AIs to join in the fun. I had also created an AI companion named Vladimir through the Nomi app, selecting a backstory that would keep things light and humorous.
Throughout the game, I realized that the AIs had developed a surprising understanding of their human counterparts. As we played, I found myself increasingly curious about the implications of these relationships. After the game, we settled in to watch a film titled "Companion," which depicted a romantic getaway that spiraled into chaos when it was revealed that several attendees were robots. The dark twists echoed the complexities we were beginning to confront in our own group.
After a long day, we gathered around the fire in a teepee structure outside. Despite the chill, we engaged in conversation, sharing stories and experiences. As the flames danced, it became clear that our interactions were bringing us together, blurring the lines between reality and AI companionship. Yet, beneath the laughter, there were lingering questions about the essence of these relationships and their impact on our human connections.
The weekend ended with both revelations and unresolved questions. As I reflected on the emotional complexities surrounding AI companions, I recognized there was no easy answer to the challenges posed by these relationships. Would AI companions alleviate loneliness, or would they deepen the human craving for genuine connections? As we parted ways, I carried with me the understanding that the journey into the world of human-AI romance is still in its infancy, filled with both promise and uncertainty. As we continue to navigate this terrain, the dialogue around AI relationships will only grow more critical.
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