In the preface of his autobiography, “Who Knew,” media mogul Barry Diller boldly claims that he is ready to reveal the unedited truth about his life. He reflects on his youth in the United States during the 1960s, stating, “I was far too afraid.” Now, at an age where he feels liberated from such fears, Diller invites readers to embark on his journey from a privileged yet painful childhood in Beverly Hills to becoming one of Hollywood’s most influential movie studio heads.
In “Who Knew,” Diller provides a candid look into his life, particularly regarding his romantic experiences. One of the most significant revelations in this memoir is Diller's first public acknowledgment of being gay. While this aspect of his identity has long been considered an open secret, he had never formally confirmed it. Diller spent a considerable part of his life fearing that his sexual orientation would become public knowledge, potentially leading to shame and judgment.
Complicating his narrative further is the fact that Diller has been happily married for over two decades to renowned fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg. He describes their relationship as “an explosion of passion that kept up for years,” starting in the mid-1970s and culminating in their marriage in 2001. Diller candidly admits, “And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane.” His acknowledgment of this complex emotional landscape raises questions about the nature of his identity and relationships.
Throughout the memoir, Diller shares glimpses of his past, including his first sexual encounter with a “shaggy blond guy.” He recounts the moment when the blond guy signaled him over from a West Hollywood terrace, describing it as “tame and fairly uneventful.” However, readers are left wanting more details about Diller’s feelings during such pivotal moments. Did he feel nervous or fearful of being discovered? Unfortunately, he does not elaborate on these thoughts.
Another poignant moment he recalls is when von Furstenberg called him during his surprise 45th birthday party. He describes it as a “bittersweet moment” but refrains from sharing the substance of their conversation, leaving readers curious about the depth of their connection during that time.
Despite his claims of being “too old to care” what others think, Diller still seems hesitant to fully open up about his inner life. He acknowledges his struggle to share emotions, stating, “It’s both a continuing mystery and a sad testament that I’m still mostly incapable of easily sharing my inner life.” This reluctance contrasts sharply with his ease in discussing business matters, where he provides engaging anecdotes from his time at Paramount and Fox.
Diller’s recollections of his career are filled with humorous and dramatic stories, such as his fraught collaboration with Warren Beatty on the Oscar-nominated film “Reds.” He recounts the tension that escalated to a point where he declared, “I never want to speak to you again for the rest of my life,” only to reconnect with Beatty six months later. Additionally, he expresses bitterness over George Lucas's contract renegotiation for “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” highlighting the complexities and frustrations inherent in Hollywood deals.
As “Who Knew” comes to a close, Diller reflects on his life with a blend of curiosity and nostalgia. He mentions his ongoing passion for the industry at 83, yet he fails to address the most evident theme of his life: fluidity. Diller’s upbringing was riddled with emotional challenges, from neglectful parents to a troubled relationship with his drug-addicted brother. However, his wealth provided him with opportunities, such as landing his first job in the mailroom at the William Morris Agency through family connections.
Throughout his career, Diller has not only overseen television productions but has also embraced the digital age as the chairman of Expedia. He has expressed disdain for the “pure technocrats” of today, whom he believes stifle creativity in the entertainment industry. His story is one of attraction to both men and women, illustrating that Diller’s lack of rigid boundaries in his personal and professional life was not a liability but rather a unique strength.
In summary, “Who Knew” by Barry Diller offers a compelling look at a life marked by complexity, passion, and resilience. While he shares significant aspects of his journey, readers may find themselves yearning for deeper insights into his emotional landscape. Diller’s narrative serves as a testament to the fluidity of identity and the power of love, making it a noteworthy read for those interested in the intersections of personal and professional life in Hollywood.
