When Em graduated from the Pratt Institute in May 2020, the world was grappling with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Unfortunately, the job market for a sculpture major was virtually nonexistent, even in a bustling metropolis like New York City. Em, now 26, recalls, "That absolutely set the tone for the rest of my attempt at a career." In search of new opportunities, they enrolled in an intensive nine-month coding boot camp and began applying for tech jobs. However, after facing rejection from about ten roles, the tech industry was hit hard by mass layoffs in 2022, leaving Em feeling even more disheartened. "It was just another pathway to disappointment," they reflect.
After a stint as an office manager at a nonprofit, Em found their coding skills fading. Last year, they applied to over 400 jobs across various fields, including communications, administration, and service, only to be turned down every time. "I am miserable, and it is breaking my body down," Em shared during a phone call from California. Living off $700 a month from contract work while staying at a relative's house, they added flatly, "I am not living a life that I feel is worth living at this moment."
Em's relentless rejection story may seem extreme, yet it mirrors a broader anxiety and despair among many members of Gen Z. Recently, individuals over 30 have shifted their tone from admonishing "kids these days" to expressing genuine sympathy for the unique challenges young adults face today—challenges shaped by COVID-19, climate anxiety, the tumult of the Trump administration, the impact of the internet on real-life interactions, and the rise of AI threatening entire industries.
Gen Z has been labeled the most anxious, risk-averse, stressed, burned-out, and loneliest generation. According to the World Happiness Report, they are even dubbed the unhappiest generation. However, one particular aspect of their experience has gone largely unnoticed: Gen Z may be the most rejected generation in history. While every cohort feels it has faced unique trials—like the famous Gen Xer Will Smith lamented, "Parents just don't understand!"—Gen Z's struggle to establish themselves comes with an unprecedented level of rejection.
In interviews with psychologists, therapists, guidance counselors, career coaches, and over a dozen Gen Z individuals (most of whom requested anonymity to protect their job hunts), the overwhelming theme of mass rejection emerged. This experience significantly affects young adults' egos and their expectations of agency in a world increasingly dominated by technology.
Historically, most Americans married in their early 20s, often meeting partners through social circles. Today, individuals spend nearly a decade longer dating, with the median age for first marriage now 31.1 for men and 29.2 for women. During this extended dating period, they have access to numerous apps that can facilitate or terminate connections at a moment's notice. The cumulative effect of countless unreciprocated swipes, DMs, and texts creates a landscape of emotional rejection that is far more intense than previous generations experienced.
The paradox of online dating has been well-documented: despite having unprecedented access to potential partners, younger individuals face a landscape rife with disappointment. A survey conducted by Hinge revealed that 90% of Gen Z respondents desire love, yet 44% reported having little or no dating experience. "Much of that gap is due to Gen Z's heightened risk aversion," says Logan Ury, Hinge's director of relationship science. She attributes this aversion to a social-media-enhanced awareness of a perilous world and a trend of overparenting.
Interestingly, 56% of Gen Z participants indicated that fear of rejection held them back from pursuing relationships, a sentiment echoed by 51% of millennial respondents. The casual nature of modern dating has led many to become accustomed to mutual risk aversion. "It's so easy to get involved with someone and then detach," Catherine, a recent Barnard graduate, reflects. Many of her friends have been texting people from dating apps for weeks or months without ever meeting in person. One friend even experienced the sting of being unmatched and blocked before a scheduled date.
Jeff Guenther, a licensed therapist who connects with millions of Gen Z TikTok users, notes how today's young adults appear more inclined to discard relationships in favor of the seemingly endless pool of potential suitors. While there is resilience in moving on from rejections, many lack the skills needed to navigate real-world relational challenges that require compromise and patience. "Today's young adults seem to be adopting a quick-to-quit mentality," he adds.
Contrastingly, Natalie Buchwald, founder and clinical director of Manhattan Mental Health Counseling, observes that many Gen Zers exhibit a pervasive numbness that masquerades as resilience. "That’s not resilience; that's disconnect," she warns.
The trend of heightened rejection extends into the college admissions process as well. In 1960, over half of college applicants applied to just one institution. Fast forward to the current admissions season, and the average applicant now submits applications to approximately 6.65 Common App-affiliated schools—a 7% increase from the previous year. The number of applications to the most selective colleges has tripled in the last two decades, with nearly 2 million applications submitted annually.
With Gen Z knocking on more doors than ever, they are simultaneously facing more closed doors. Many students, like Dylan—a 22-year-old New York University student—applied to around 20 schools, only to receive a mere three or four acceptances. "It felt like it wasn't necessarily our qualifications that mattered," Dylan reflects. Ella, a 20-year-old from Pennsylvania, describes her experience of being rejected from 10 of the 12 colleges she applied to as a profound blow to her self-image.
As daunting as the college admissions process is, the job market presents its own set of challenges. Many Gen Zers apply to more jobs daily than many Boomers do in their entire lives. According to data from hiring software provider Greenhouse, the average knowledge worker job opening received 244 applications in February 2025, a significant rise from 93 applications in February 2019. This means that for every job offer, there are an overwhelming number of rejections.
Among the Gen Zers I spoke with, submitting hundreds of job applications is common. Christopher, a 24-year-old finance graduate, applied to 400 jobs in finance and 200 in merchandising before landing a position that wasn't his ideal role. Similarly, Catherine has applied to 300 jobs since her graduation, going through numerous interviews only to receive ghosting or vague responses. "It's a frustrating process," she explains. "You put in so much effort, only to feel like you're sending applications into the void."
For many Gen Zers, the widespread experience of rejection can be disheartening, but it can also be liberating. Some individuals report that their collection of rejection emails has motivated them to pursue passion projects, move abroad, or even start their own businesses. The influencer economy has emerged as a viable career path for many, offering opportunities in an otherwise challenging job market.
As Gen Z continues to navigate the complexities of rejection in their personal and professional lives, the cumulative effects may shape their identities and future behaviors. If they begin their journeys with high levels of risk aversion, even minor experiences of rejection could reinforce a reluctance to take risks. However, those who manage to persist and continue pursuing opportunities could ultimately find success. Yet, the balance of luck and perseverance in college, careers, and romance remains precarious.
The experiences of rejection faced by Gen Z raise critical questions about their self-worth and the societal structures that contribute to their challenges. They are increasingly subjected to the impersonal forces of technology, with algorithms influencing their dating prospects, college admissions, and job applications. This detachment from human interaction can exacerbate feelings of isolation and frustration.
As Em's story illustrates, there is hope amidst the turmoil. After a grueling job search, Em recently secured a position at a perfume shop in Oregon. They explained how their perspective on careerism shifted through reading David Graeber’s book, Bullshit Jobs, which emphasizes the psychological toll of feeling ineffective. "It’s one of the best jobs I've ever had," Em said. "Every day, I get the chance to make someone's day, to actually see my impact on the world, even if it's on a small scale." This sentiment encapsulates the resilience and adaptability that many in Gen Z possess, even in the face of overwhelming rejection.
As this generation continues to confront these challenges, it is crucial for society to recognize and support their journey toward finding meaning and fulfillment in a rapidly changing world.
